


Jean the Faun

by Kabaragoya



Series: Dildo Dorks [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Crack, M/M, only friendship sadly, platonic fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-14
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2018-03-01 10:43:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,488
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2770106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kabaragoya/pseuds/Kabaragoya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A boisterous faun and a gnarly bobcat cross paths.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jean the Faun

**Author's Note:**

> It's 3 am please enjoy a slice of my insanity.

Once upon a time, there was a faun named Jean traveling through the forest. He had no idea where he was going but that was okay, he trusted his instincts. He's been places, taken names and fought his own internal war up to this point. Doesn't mean he has any type of trust for this part of the forest. Doesn't mean he's afraid either.

About a mile away from home and nearing an area he doesn't like, his little faun legs willed him forward, flying over minor shrubs and swinging past trees. Finally, he comes to a creek at the end of his trek. Immediately he dives in, splashes around disturbing fish, wetting his luxurious fur coat. 

The water isn't cold on this solid summer day in July, the sun is out and it warms everything in it's path. Jean sighs, exhaling any form of existing stress off his chest and dips his face under the current. He let's it rush over his sharp ears and button nose, relaxing his senses and calming him. 

Jean is ready for an apocalypse or even a brawl with all of man-kind! He could take them on right now if they stepped to him! He sees himself boxing Tom Cruise, Floyd Maywheather, and George Clooney at the same time, throwing harsh hoove hooks to their guts and butts numerous times until they're crying for mercy. "Macho Jean!" He muses aloud. Nobody should want to start beef with this lamb tonight, especially when he's this confident and--

"Gahh!" A razor sharp grip comes in contact with the back of his neck, lifting him out of the stream dripping wet. Who or whatever has him is going to have to put up a fight before Jean establishes the word 'surrender' in his vocabulary. 

"Let me go--" His defense mechanism throw his hind legs back with all the force in his body before he flops to dry Earth. "Motherfucker fucked with the wrong deer!" He says struggling in the mud aaround the small body of water.

The faun looks to see the face of his enemy, praying it's not a wolf or a lion. Turns out to be a rigid looking bobcat, ears pointed high and standing on edge and unharmed by Jeans kick. It might be a thicker animal that wields claws but it still registers to Jean as an easy peasy kill.

"You think it's funny to attack a proud deer when he's bathing with his back turned, wimpy little pussy!" Jean yells stalking forward, stumbling under his own legs.

"Woah, bro," the bobcat says, flattening his ears against his head. "Chill. I just thought you were drowning--" he's cut off by a fierce watery headbutt to his left side, getting more of his mane wet as he only shifts an inch at the impact.

"Shut the shit and fight me, bitch!" Jean lands another blow before the bobcat swipes him 3 feet back, making sure to keep his claws sealed away. He stands over the fallen faun and sniggers, what a tough little creature! 

"You're like so much smaller than me; number one. And you're ridiculously stubborn." And the bobcat doesn't mean to sound like a dick when he says this, but it flows through Jeans ears as if meant to be belittling.

That bobcat did it now!

Jean looks up from his soaking wet mangled position on the ground with a fever in his eyes, he rises once again, puffs out his tiny chest and as serious as serious can get says, "There was an antelope that called me a horse once. He didn't live to see the sun the next day--"

"Oi! Quit that high and mighty talk! I'm trying to apologize but you keep trying to fight me." He huffs out nice and fast so maybe the petite faun will hear him this time.

Jeans attitude jumps out of an 5-story winow and dies as soon as it hits the bottom, not that he is taken aback or shocked, he just sorta shrugs and frowns at the feline with all of his warrior-ness gone. "I wanted to fight someone, is all. You just happened to catch me at a bad time, I guess." he replies honest and civil compared to his pervious actions.

"Yeah, it's whatever. Just thought you were dead." 

"Clearly, I'm not."

"Clearly, you're an asshole." The bobcat retorts on the same tone as the faun. Jean isn't truly an asshole he's a lot like one, but he knows he can handle him and his deer antics. He doesn't hate him, he just picked up the right piece of trash out of the creek. "Anywho, I'll be going now. Peace and Nirvana."

And Jean almost feels bad, almost enough to think he has to owe the bobcat for trying to save his non-endangered life , almost enough to tag along on whatever adventure he interrupted just now. Almost. He feels his inner toaster oven turn off and the chirp of a school bell ring through his conscious. The cat is already fleeting away when Jean calls out to him (Cat calling lol). "Wait!.. Where are you going?" He doesn't understand the words coming out of his mouth. His heart seems to be talking, not dramatically or passionately but apparently his brain isn't running the shots.

The bobcat stops his pace and answers with, "Where ever the sun shines brightest." Such depth for a cat. 

But Jean perks up with an idea, knowing just where to go. A parrot led him there once in another strange encounter like this.

"I know a place, I think. I could take you there?" Not going to lie, he's a tad bit eager to converse with the cat. Jean isn't lonely and definitely doesn't feel so either, but there is always something about having somebody right by you when adrenaline kicks in, knowing they have your back and you have theirs. It's a thing Jean hasn't experienced in a long time, companionship, he's not too good at making friends when it comes down to it, if you haven't noticed. He saw how awkward the bobcat is and also how cool he is with this whole ordeal. It'll be worth it if they can find something in each other after all. 

"Alrighty, sure. Why though? Totally wanted to headbutt me into an abyss a second ago." The bobcat giggles, they're something else.

"Ha, that was when YOU put YOUR teeth in my neck, if I remember correctly. Hmmmm but, really, it was nice of you to try and save me." The cat thinks over his words for a moment, and nods subtly.

They start to walk alongside each other causally, quietly for a while as the faun leads the way to his favorite rock on the other side of the forest. He peeks over at the cat now and then, admiring his gray spotted fur in comparison to Jeans tan golden one, but he says nothing. They gallop with the crinkle of leaves filling the breeze, the expressions of the shady trees leaving pattern on the dirt floor.

"Sooo.." his new feline friend is the first to speak. "You think I'm nice?" 

"Yeah." Jean says simply and sure, but the bobcats footing falters for a split second as if he said much more then a compliment. It does mean something to him, that Jean, the asshole, thinks something good about him, even after he called him a wimp.

"Oh." If animals could blush, he'd be as red as a freshly spanked ass cheek.

"Mhmmm, yes, what a nice small jungle cat."

"I'm still bigger then you!" 

"Oh yeah? Bet I'm faster!" Jean challenges, taking off before finishing his sentence.

"No fair! I don't even know where I'm going!"

They prance around arguing and play fighting, till they meet their destination. The rock is giant and is surrounded by other boulders to make some type of stairs, they climb up together and discuss the view. They forest is beautiful from where they're at, very few trees tower over them to minus the amount of shadow, letting the sun really beat down on them.

They lay by each other, not next to one another, though, the bobcat will eventually scoot closer to the faun when he's not looking. 

Eyes closed and relaxed again, Jean has one last thing on his mind before he crawls into a midday nap with his new buddy. He peers over to him and softly hisses to get his attention, Jeans squinty eyes looking into the felines big round brown ones.

"What's your name, cat?"

"Marco." He purrs in response and the humming puts Jean over the edge of soothed. Like the fear of tipping a rocking chair back too far, but in a good way where you might actually want to fall.

Only then do Jean and Marco slump into a peaceful slumber, and awake to their odd new found friendship.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorta cute at a point but I liked it, it's very me. There is so much me in there its unreal tbh. If you like this you're capable of marrying me probably aye


End file.
